Marriages change regularly; you go through ups and downs all the time. When you add kids in the mix, things can get crazy. Furthermore, we all know that marriage can be stressful (if you let it). It’s all about how you and your spouse work together. People say, “Marriage is a lot of work.” While this may be true, it is also a lot of fun. Of course, I believe marriage is teamwork, and both partners have to commit to each other. Not to mention the fact that you and your spouse should be friends first and then lovers. However, couples have to work together to have a successful, happy marriage. Here are some things my husband and I do to keep our marriage happy.
Put each other first
We must put each other first. Of course, we love our children, but we need to spend time alone, just the two of us. My husband and I still go out to dinner or a local club spot. Sometimes we’ll even jump in the car and go for a drive. Indeed, there are nights when we both like to stay at home and watch movies or T.V. shows. Of course, our favorite show to watch together is Empire. Of course, I will wait for my husband to get home so that we can watch it together. Above all, it makes me feel connected with him to lay in bed and watch the show together. Also, considering each other feelings is putting each other first. It is vital because so many people do not consider their partner’s feelings. If something is bothering my husband, I can tell and vice versa.
Make Sex A Priority
Yes, Yes, Yes. Even after having ten children, we still keep it sexy. Of course, sex is a significant part of the relationship. How do you think we got those beautiful children? It’s okay to take those trips to the adult store and keep it fresh. Even though you have a bedroom in your home, it is a good idea to take some trips to a hotel. Although I love to have those romantic dinners at home; however, it’s nice to get out of the house. Subsequently, there is nothing wrong with doing a little role play for each other.
Meanwhile, bring some whips and chains out and have some fun. Since some couples cannot be spontaneous, it doesn’t hurt to schedule it just like date night. This article here has some great ideas about keeping your marriage alive. Check it out.
We have disagreements, what marriage doesn’t? Above all, learning how to handle conflicts was challenging. Generally, we would have disagreements about money, the children, housework and other crazy things. As a result of this, we would argue. Eventually, after the argument, one of us would leave the house. Of course, this was not the proper way to resolve a disagreement. However, this was established over time. First of all, when we have a situation that we know we are about to get in a heated discussion about we change the subject. Then once we have cooled down, we come back to discuss the problem. Of course, you have to see the situation from each other’s view and not just your own. Finally, the disagreement is resolved. And honestly there are times when we have to agree to disagree. If you would like to know the science behind the reason why couples argue, click on this article.
Don’t change each other
Indeed, it is wrong to try to change someone. After some people get married thinking that they can change a person. In fact, in a new relationship, we don’t focus on the other person’s differences. The person believes that eventually, they’ll change. Indeed once someone has settled in their ways, it’s hard for them to change. Indeed, you can change you, and your spouse can change themselves. However, trying to change each other destroys the relationship. Whatever the case, maybe it is not good to try to change each other because it destroys damages the marriage emotionally. Also, it is emotionally and physically exhausting for the person that is trying to change the other person. If you know someone or you’re trying to improve their spouse, read this article.
Focus on the positive
During the years that my husband and I have been together, we have hit some rough patches. But we are focusing on the positive things in our relationship. Yes, we have grown together. Above all, we have learned how to handle our problems better. When we were younger, we used to hang the phone on one another when we got mad; now we tell each other I’ll call you back when the situation cools down. We like to focus on the good things that we do for each other. Truthfully, it’s the little things that count. It is vital to put all of your energy into the positive aspects of the relationship. Because if you dwell on the negative parts of the marriage, it will tear you and your relationship apart because you have not forgiven yourself or your spouse.
Compliment each other often
Compliments make anyone feel good. I love to compliment my husband when he gets a haircut or when he puts on that suit (he looks so good). Don’t get me wrong. I love it when he wears his T-shirt and jeans. My husband looks good to me. However, everyone should feel like this about their spouse, which is what makes compliments come easy. He compliments me as well; he always tells me I look great even after having ten children.
Consequently, complimenting each other will help you both build self- confidence and reassures the two of you that you are still attracted to each other. Also, compliments can motivate you and your partner to do even more for each other. At the same time, tributes show both gratitude and appreciation.
Never blame one another
At any rate, things happen, sometimes your spouse might make a wrong decision, or you might be the one to make the wrong decision. When stuff like this happens and believe me, it does happen. Instead of just staring at the problem and blaming one another, look for a solution. There is a solution to every problem. Blaming your spouse will only make matters worse. Then you will have a bigger problem on top of the previous issue. Of course, when you blame someone, or they blame you, it causes arguments because everyone goes into defense mode. Instead of blaming each other, you should communicate about the problem and solve it. However, if you blame your spouse for something. It’s okay to say, “I am sorry for blaming you.” After that, you can make-up, and that is the best part.
It is essential to have a balance in your everyday life. My husband works outside of the home, and I am a stay at home, mom. When he comes home, I make sure that all of my time and attention goes to him, and he does the same. That means that I shut down my laptop, make sure our children are taken care of, and we spend our time together. Now along with balancing out our lives, we have to make time for our children and personal time for ourselves. These things are not impossible. Time with our children can be spent at the park grilling out, reading, or enjoying a hobby. Time alone can be him making a trip to the barbershop or me going to the nail salon or beauty salon. Time apart can also be in the house; he can be downstairs watching television, and I could be upstairs reading or writing. It is vital to spend time with the kids’ one on one. You don’t have to create a schedule to let it happen naturally, and then things won’t feel rushed.
Show love and affection
My husband and I kiss and hug in front of our children. I don’t believe there is anything wrong with showing affection in front of your children. We also hold hands in front of our children. I think it brings us closer as a family. Showing affection in front of our children is a good thing. It lets them know it’s okay to express your feelings. Love also strengthens our relationship as husband and wife. Physical intimacy is vital for a relationship. It enhances the trust within the relationship. As a result of hugging and kissing, it relieves stress. Of course, it is always good to relieve some stress.
Communicate all the time
So many people forget to communicate in their relationship. Communication is key to a healthy, stable relationship. I’m not saying that my husband and I have a perfect relationship, but we are always communicating. It does not matter whether we disagree or agree; we speak our piece and move on. The main focus is to inform and let one another know how we feel. Keep the lines of communication open. Because when you don’t, it can damage the relationship. Communication builds trust within the relationship, avoids misunderstandings, and avoids arguments. Not to mention, you can learn about yourself when you communicate with your partner. Allowing yourself to put your thoughts into words lets you clarify them. It’s just like reading out aloud. Communicating forces you to listen to your ideas and concerns.
Well, these ten ways have helped my husband, and I have a happy marriage after having ten children, I hope this information can be helpful to you as well. The most crucial thing in a happy marriage with kids or without kids is LOVE. Because, if you genuinely love each other, you can work through anything.