It is difficult raising children. But it is also a blessing to have them. Some days I think, “Are my husband and I good parents?” You would think after having ten children, we should never ask that question. However, parenting can be stressful, especially with all the things going on in the world today.
Although there is no perfect way to raise your child(ren), I believe building a strong family foundation will last a lifetime. As a matter of fact my husband and I have adopted some tips to be a good parent. I have 10 tips to be a good parent. These tips have been helpful to my husband and myself. Maybe they can assist you as well.
Lead by Example
Leading by example is vital. In fact children learn at home first. It is crucial to be your child’s first role model. Not to mention the fact that you child is always watching and learning from you no matter what age they are. Try to have a positive attitude because the examples that you set will have a significant impact on your child(ren). Always try to be the best person you can be.
Everyone makes mistakes. My husband and I show our children the errors that they have made and teach them to learn from them. Of course, we tell them that we make mistakes as well and explain to them that we must learn from them too. By doing this, we show our children that we are understanding, and everyone makes mistakes. It is important not to dwell on the errors. Although there are those mistakes that they make, that make you want to say, “What were you thinking?” Dwelling on mistakes will only make matters worse. This website https://www.rootsofaction.com/learning-from-mistakes/ has an excellent article about helping children learn from their mistakes.
Allow your child(ren) to work independently. For example, my younger children put away their toys or choose their outfits. Also, I let my older children prepare meals on their own. When they have a problem. I support them. But I don’t solve their problem. I also want them to understand that they are fully capable of handling some issues on their own. According to https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/creative-development/200906/empowering-kids, empowering kids is essential to a child’s development.
Make time for Children
I understand that making time for your child(ren) can be challenging. But it is vital. Of course, children always love to spend time with their parents. As parents, my husband and I try to spend extra time with our children on the weekend together. During the week is a challenge due to conflicting schedules. My husband works at night, so when he’s coming home from work, the children are going to school. Fortunately, I can stay at home with my children. So, I show them plenty of attention during the weekdays. However, before my husband leaves out for work, he shows them attention.
It is also essential to spend one on one time with them as well, even if it is for 30 minutes for two days out of the week. If you are still having problems with adjusting your schedule to spend time with your child(ren), leave them a note. Let them know that you care. Children often misbehave when they don’t feel like they’re getting attention from their parents.
Don’t Compare Your Children
As a parent, you never want to compare your children to each other. Each child is different, even if you have a set of twins. If your child feels like you are comparing them to one of their siblings, they will think that you favor that child. In fact, if a child senses that their sister or brother is your favorite, that could make them resent their sibling for life. With this in mind, my husband and I make it a habit to tell each one of our children that they are different from each other. It lets us explain to the children why each of them may receive something different from each other such as a toy. We let them know that we love all of them equally. Of course, children must understand that they are loved all the same.
It is important to realize sometimes as a parent, we need support. Maybe you are having a difficult time, and things are just not going as you expected. Of course, it is okay to ask for professional help or join a parenting group. You can enter a parenting support group online at this website http://parentsanonymous.org/programs/parents-anonymous-groups/adult-group/. You can also find resources in your community. Plenty of parents join support groups. Therefore, you should never be ashamed of asking for support from other parents. As parents we can always learn new tips from each other.
Rules and Discipline
Children need to have rules to follow. And there need to be consequences if they do not follow the rules. Rules and consequences allow them to have structure in their lives. It is crucial to establish routines for them to follow and be specific about what you expect from them. Above all, it is essential to enforce the consequences if they do not follow a rule. Communication is the key to implementing rules and discipline.
As parents, it is our job to guide our children down the right path. And correct them when they are wrong. Of course, it is imperative as to how children receive corrective guidance. Now, I know firsthand when your child does something wrong, and you want to yell and scream at them. However, in my opinion, that is not the best way to correct your child. First of all, you don’t want to criticize your child. Instead, you want to encourage them to make better decisions next time. I am not saying that a parent should not punish their child for their wrongdoings. But they should also be told that you know they can do better. This type of encouragement allows your child to see that they have done wrong, but you still love them.
Respect Your Child
Yes, respect your child. Children need to know that respect is a two-way street. Of course, you are the parent, and you are in control. But it is essential to show your child(ren) respect. For example, if my child’s bedroom door is closed, I knock before entering. Doing this is essential because it shows your child that you respect their privacy. Also, it is vital to respect your child’s opinion, treat them with kindness, and pay attention when they are speaking to you.
Communicate With Your Children
No matter how busy you are, never be too busy to communicate with your child. Children are susceptible, and when something is bothering them, they need you to be available. We must explain situations to our children as well. Instead of saying to your child to do something just because you say so. Explain the reason why they are doing it. For example, I told my eleven-year-old to go to bed at 9:00 pm. And she asked me why. Well, I wanted to say to her because “I said so.” Then I thought about it and explained to her that she needed to go to bed at 9:00 pm to get her proper rest. So that she is not tired in the morning. And she would be completely focused in school.